STEPHEN'S SIBLINGS REMEMBER HIM




Stephen Christopher "Toby" Carson
3/21/70-1/22/98



"MEMORIES"
from "CATS"



Dan Remembers-born 2/14/69

I remember so many things about Toby. There are really too many for me to list them all. I haven't forgotten anything about him. I think what I do remember the most and miss the most about him is the way he would joke about little things to keep people laughing. Also his hilarious skits that made absolutely no sense at all that would get everyone around him rolling with laughter.

I miss playing basketball in the driveway with him and playing softball at the park. I especially enjoy remembering how he would push himself further and further to show everyone up. He was very competitive when it came to sports. He would make those around him strive to better themselves as well.

I watched him change his life around in the midst of trial and try to better himself. He was very strong willed and rebellious. I remember his charismatic, mischievous smile.


April Remembers-born 5/11/73

I remember everything about Toby. It really wasn't that long ago. I still from time to time watch the door and mentally see him strolling in as if he hadn't left us. What I really remember is all the times that he tried to encourage me. He supported me in what ever I tried to do. He always showed up at the gigs the band I was in had and he would get people excited and motivated. He couldn't really dance but he did it anyway. Then he would yell at the top of his lungs, "You guys rule!"

Those were the good times. If it weren't for him I would have never known who I was. He inspired me to search within myself to find my spiritual meaning. He showed me what it felt like to belong somewhere. We spent so much time talking about our childhood and the things we could have made better. He was the one that always found the right solutions, always.

He had eagerness towards life and wanted so much more than he could reach. He loved his family and he loved his children, but he wasn't happy. Something was missing, and now.....for us.....something.....someone is missing!


David Remembers-born 4/4/80

In 1996 dad, Toby, and I went to Chicago for a Promise Keepers conference that was held at Soldiers Field. The temperature inside the stadium was at leas 115 degrees that Saturday. Toby and I decided to take a swim in Lake Michigan to cool off. The water still hadn't warmed up from the winter so it was still rather cold. When Toby jumped into the water he shot right back out of it like a rocket screaming about how cold it was. Walking back to the stadium we had some good laughs about it.

We used to go fishing and it would just be Dan, Toby, Jake, and I. Toby would catch all the fish and we'd get mad at him because we weren't catching any. Toby would just laugh about it and then he'd get mad because all he would be catching would be carp and he hated them.

He was a nice person to know. He had a good attitude towards me. He loved to pick on me and always asked my girlfriend and me when were gonna get married or when we were going to have kids. He was really fun to be around.


Jacob Remembers-4/7/82

I also remember going fishing with Toby. We would go to the river together and he would sit in the back of his truck. He'd be nailing fish right and left and Dan, David, and I wouldn't be catching anything. We would really get mad at him about that.

My greatest memory of Toby involved a game for the Sony Play Station called Triple Play '99. He had added his name to the Chicago White Sox line up. He had listed himself as Freight Train #48. He had the best overall statistics of any other player on the team. I played that game everyday for 3 or 4 months after Toby's death, I just couldn't get him out of my head.



DIANAH REMEMBERS

When you express thoughts of a sibling, it is so easy to be critical and point out every flaw. Knowing right from wrong as children, we grow up knowing what is right and pointing out on our siblings what is wrong. That was so easy to do with my brother Toby. He always had a rebellious wild side, until the day he was gone, then the absence of his life showed me how much I was wrong.

My brother Toby had such intelligence that even his dumbest sense of humor always carried a style no one could match. He was a natural leader, never fearing to be different, never shy to do the unthinkable. He was tough when he had to be, yet he was extremely kind, and willing to do for others what no one else would. I loved the way he made me laugh, almost always at mom's expense never afraid to take her on. Or his incredible determination to always be the one who came out on top.

When he was small I locked him in his bedroom for punishment. He crawled out the window and waited for me to go to the bathroom and tied the door shut holding me prisoner for hours until mom and dad got home. Never afraid, strong and courageous, kind and humorous is how I remember my brother Toby. As I am crying while writing this what I want to remember most about my brother Toby is that I don't think I ever said enough in all things I pointed out was wrong, was Toby I loved you and I miss your smiling face. The absence of my words in your life to say I loved you shows me in the absence of your life in mine just how much I was wrong.



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Poorman's COPYRIGHT ©: June 17, 1999 by Lloyd E. Carson